Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is a form of psychotherapy used to treat individuals with traumatic experiences, anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns. The therapy is based on the concept that traumatic experiences can cause unprocessed memories to become stored in the brain, leading to symptoms such as anxiety and depression.
The EMDR therapy process begins with a thorough assessment of the client’s history and current symptoms. The therapist then helps the client identify specific traumatic events and related negative beliefs. During the therapy session, the client is instructed to recall the traumatic memory while following the therapist’s hand movements or other forms of bilateral stimulation (e.g. tapping or sound). This process is thought to activate the brain’s natural information processing system, allowing the client to reprocess and integrate the traumatic memories.
Throughout the therapy process, the client is encouraged to report any thoughts, feelings, and sensations that arise. The therapist may also work with...more
Healing From Infidelity In Marriage
Healing from infidelity in a marriage is a complex and difficult process, but with the right steps, it is possible to rebuild trust and intimacy. Here are some of the most important steps to consider:
- Acknowledge the pain: Both partners need to acknowledge the pain that infidelity has caused and validate each other’s feelings. This can help to create a foundation for honest communication and a sense of safety in the relationship.
- Establish clear and honest communication: Open and honest communication is key in any relationship, but especially so after infidelity. This means being willing to listen to each other’s feelings and perspectives without judgment.
- Take responsibility: The person who committed the infidelity needs to take full responsibility for their actions and express genuine remorse. This is an important step in building trust and helping the other partner to heal.
- Identify the underlying issues: Infidelity often occurs as a result of underlying issues in the relationship....
Goals Of Premarital Counseling
Why should couples seek premarital counseling? The reasons are numerous. They range from wanting to prevent a future divorce, to getting on the same page about finances and child-rearing, to simply making the most of their lives together before they make a lifetime commitment.
If you decide to take the plunge in premarital counseling, here are 8 goals for premarriage counseling.
1. Work for win-win solutions. Shame-based couples often look at all issues in terms of right and wrong, and to see all conflicts as ending with a winner and a loser. That approach works for boxing matches, not couples. Search for solutions that make each partner a winner. Seldom is there just one way to do things. Two different views can both be right. Focusing on strengths increases personal growth.
2. Use the Twelve Steps. Stop the fight and share with each other what step you need to use in connection with this problem. If you are involved with recovery from co-dependence or other issues, connect to the principles, communicate...more
Relationship Advice On Intimacy
Intimacy is the closeness of your relationship with another person — emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, sexually, and in many other ways. Intimacy is one of many important aspects to a romantic relationship. Attaining intimacy is a process that occurs over time and is never completed or fully accomplished. Partners who desire deep and lasting relationships nurture the intimacy between them over the course of the relationship, not just in the early stages.
Abundant research exists showing the positive relationship between marriage and health. Long term, committed relationships contribute to a myriad of positive health benefits. Developing long-lasting intimate relationships is conducive to both happiness and health. Intimacy can take many forms; emotional intimacy is the closeness created through sharing feelings. Because females are encouraged to recognize and express their emotions from an early age, women generally understand emotions better than men. Unfortunately, society tends to discourage men from...more
Revelation Counseling is here to help you to communicate better to meet your goals, in your family, at work, and in the world in general. We offer relationship-focused therapy, including marriage counseling, depression counseling, PTSD therapy, and more. To find out if we specialize in the service you need, click here.
As a first step, I would like you to consider how you define communication. It is important that you and the person you are striving to communicate with have the same definition. Agreeing what communication is, Step One.
According to the FreeDictionary.com, communication is “the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, as by speech, signals, writing, or behavior. The art and technique of using words effectively to impart and receive information or ideas.” And is we turn to Miraim-Webster.com we can add, “the act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else.”more
When you are looking for self-help resources, books can be a valuable tool to help you learn new ways of thinking about yourself and your relationships with others. They can also encourage new forms of communication that can change your relationships. There are also times when you need help while you learn these new patterns. A personal, experienced counselor can help you in this journey. If you find yourself needing a guide in your self-help journey or couples therapy, call Marta at Revelation Counseling.
“Boundaries in Marriage”
Boundaries are the ways in which we define and maintain our sense of individuality, personal integrity, and freedom. The principles described in this book are significant ingredients to a thriving marriage. The authors guide readers in how to cope with differing needs, how to establish healthy communication, how to solve problems and much more.
Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are popular speakers, psychologists, and cohosts of the nationally broadcast New Life Live radio program. Also, they are cofounders of Cloud-Townsend Clinic...more
Parenting From The Inside Out: How A Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive
Psychotherapy And Parentingmore
How to Rebuild Trust- Yes, it’s possible. Depending on the situation, trust can be rebuilt. But the process of building trust doesn’t just happen. Not in the first place, or after a rupture has occurred. It takes significant inner work on the part of both partners.
When you are working to build trust with a partner, or to restore trust that has been broken, a counselor can be very helpful. A psychotherapist like Marta can facilitate communication and help you and your partner be aware of patterns but healthy and unhealthy. When you can identify an unhealthy pattern, you can be mindful of your actions that contribute to that pattern.
Are you trustworthy? To build a stable foundation of trust with another person, both individuals must commit to honesty, and their actions must be consistent with the promises they make to each other. If you can recall a time that trust was broken in your relationship, think back on what happened leading up to the betrayal. Did your inner voice whisper something to you which you ignored? It is important for each of us to be aware...more
Before practicing progressive muscle relaxation, consult with your doctor if you have a history of conditions that may be aggravated by tensing muscles.
Progressive muscle relaxation usually begins at the feet and work your way up to the face. Our goal is to reduce and manage anxiety.
- Wear loose clothes, no shoes, and get comfortable.
- Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.
- When you’re relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot. Take a moment to focus on the way it feels.
- Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing as tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.
- Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.
- Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly.
- When you’re ready, shift your attention to your left foot. Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.
- Move slowly up through your body, contracting and relaxing the muscle groups as you...
The goal of deep breathing is to breathe deeply from the abdomen, getting as much fresh air as possible in your lungs, slowing respiration and reducing anxiety. When you take deep breaths from the abdomen, rather than shallow breaths from your upper chest, you inhale more oxygen. The more oxygen you get, the less tense, short of breath, and anxious you feel, you are managing your anxiety.
- Sit comfortably with your back straight. Put one hand on your chest and the other on your stomach.
- Breathe in through your nose. The hand on your stomach should rise. The hand on your chest should move very little.
- Exhale through your mouth, pushing out as much air as you can while contracting your abdominal muscles. The hand on your stomach should move in as you exhale, but your other hand should move very little.
- Continue to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth. Try to inhale enough so that your lower abdomen rises and falls. Count slowly as you exhale.
If you find it difficult breathing from your abdomen while sitting up, try...more
Forgiving makes YOU free. Carrying resentment, bitterness or unforgiveness damages our soul. Forgiving is critical for our own freedom. It is important to work through & process what has taken place, in order to clear & free our own hearts. After looking within, and taking an inventory of your own heart, here are some practical steps;
- Make a list of the persons who have hurt you.
- Next to each name, write what you needed from that person.
- Next to that, write how it made you feel when that person did not meet your need.
- Identify any responsibility that is yours, action you can take.
- In the last column write whether you think that person will ever be able to meet your need. Be honest.
- Accept your loss and grieve it.
- “Reconcilliation is love’s toughest work, and love’s biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable...
- Are you facing a marriage crisis? If so your mind is probably swimming with questions. Are you asking yourself if you should stay or end the relationship? Should we go to marriage counseling? What will the future be like? Think about what the future will be like if you leave the relationship. How will it affect your children, family or friendships? Then, envision what your life will be like five years from now. Family events? Will you have to attend functions separately? What will happen when either of you enter into a new relationship? Think about what it will be like twenty years from now. Picture what your future will be like without your current spouse and whether or not you can handle that future alone.
- What was the past like? Recall what the past was like and all of the fun times that you and your spouse shared together. There will be happy memories, so try to recall those happy memories and think about what kept you together with your spouse for so long. Are you willing to end that chapter of your life in favor of being alone, or being with the someone...
Are you overreacting? Too emotional? Relationship problems happen to all people. When the scenario involves being told you are too emotional, or over-reacting-there may be something else causing the relationship trouble or marital problems.
I want to teach you about implicit and explicit memory. Implicit memory is sometimes referred to as unconscious memory or automatic memory. Implicit memory uses past experiences to remember things without thinking about them. Explicit memory, sometimes called declarative memory, is the conscious, intentional recollection of previous experiences and information. We use explicit memory throughout the day, such as remembering the time of an appointment or recollecting an event from years ago.more
Parenting teens well. This article is very good, I agree with every word. Let me know what you think, ask any questions & please share with those who are parenting Teens;
How To Ruin Your Relationship With Your Teenager
“One evening my sons came home with the same exclamation, “It’s amazing how many kids hate their parents!” We talked for an hour or so about why, and I’ve interviewed several teenagers over the last few months for further clarity.
The good news: most teenagers are very forgiving of parental missteps; they recognize their own faults and readily forgive others’. Even better, in a healthy relationship, teenagers love you for who you are. Yes, they might act embarrassed when you hug them in front of their friends or even drop them off in front of the high school. But they really don’t care if you’re overweight, frumpy or wear...more
psychcentral.com published this information;
“Touch! Touch often, casually and intimately. Touch because you can. Touch because it takes the sting out of harsh words. Touch because it reminds both of you that you’re not alone, you’re in it together, and that eases anxiety. Touch because we can forget to, because we become complacent, because we take each other for granted, because we have busy lives.
Think about it: How many times have you touched your partner in the past 48 hours? Has kissing just become foreplay rather than every day? Do you only touch because it’s the routine (a peck on the way out the door)?
For the next week, touch mindfully, rather than absent-mindedly. Hug for longer than you usually do. Hold hands while you walk. Look for opportunities to be physical. Your relationship will thank you for it.more
Do you agree codependency can kill?
Can codependency kill?
Codependency; “I have a friend who says her codependency will kill her before her alcoholism. I am so codependent that when I do, I’m afraid someone else’s life will flash before my eyes.
I am completely consumed by a dear friend’s terminal illness. I don’t like the way his caregiver is handling his care. I desperately want to jump in and tell his caregiver how to do things because in my spare time – when I’m not leaping tall buildings in a single bound – I am an oncologist, a child psychologist, pain-management specialist and super-model.
That’s how sick I am. I have the best intentions but my execution is a little off. It is obsessive caretaking. We form one-sided relationships with people who need care – such as my friend, who has cancer. The care-taking becomes compulsive and pathological.
Codependency is a learned behavior, often seen in the spouses and children of...more
Improve your life. Do not limit yourself by believing the lies around us. “Look out for Number One” The worst relationship advice for non-abusive relationships. The worst.
If you “look out for number one”, you automatically negate empathy/generosity/other-centeredness/giving/affection/reciprocity, etc.
The influence of our society can be detrimental to healthy relationships. If you want great communication, exceptional relationship and ongoing personal growth-Question the automatic way of thinking & cliches that we hear everyday.more
Improve relationships, improve your communication & do not let limiting beliefs cheat you. Learn to recognize the limiting beliefs commonly held in our society. These beliefs destroy relationships before they begin.
Couples~think for yourselves, refuse societal lies that diminish relationship potential;
“EVERY couple fights” DO NOT ACCEPT that. Every couple goes through hurt feelings, offenses, insecurities, etc. But fighting belongs between opponents. People who love each other have meaningful, albeit difficult conversations about issues that come up. It is entirely possible to express yourselves honestly-with RESPECT- and work through issues without fighting. If you believe this limiting concept, you are beginning your relationship with the lowest expectation instead of ideal expectations.
I PROMISE, call me.
Improve your relationship, improve your communication. Do not let limiting beliefs cheat you.more
Improve relationship, and communication; refuse to accept Limiting Beliefs. Think for yourself and DO NOT accept everything others say…
“Every couple fights”….You look up the definition of “fight” and tell me if that dynamic belongs in a romantic relationship? NO, it does not. And if you set your bar that low for your relationship, you are already close to the bottom. Improve your relationship…banish this thought.
Yes, every person in relationship; gets hurt feelings, has insecurities, feels offended, is insensitive, puts their “foot in their mouth” makes mistakes, forgets important things, over-reacts, under-reacts, misses the partner’s cue, etc. Do not react and fight. RESPOND instead, both people composed-agree when to talk it through. The harder the topic, the longer it may take. This may be a difficult and painful conversation. There may be tears, shaky voices, need for a break… but issues can be addressed honestly without losing control of yourself and “fighting.”more
Depression and Thoughts; Do you relate more closely to your own negative thoughts than the positive ones? Remember, negative tapes in your head are the voices of abusers and anyone who has ever spoken unkindly to you. It is these voices that steal your freedom, that disable you.
You have a choice whether or not you listen to those voices. They are a habit, but you have free will. You choose how to respond. Who says you have to agree with them? You have the right to banish old, negative voices and to replace them with uplifting people and with your own strong voice.
* What do you want from your life?
* Who do you want to become?
* What stands in the way of reaching these two?more